Lauren - Ballard, Downtown Seattle, Shoreline 2008-14

Your Name

Lauren

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Regular Attender

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard, Downtown Seattle, Shoreline

What years were you involved / attending?

2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

I actually first heard of Mars Hill when the local paper did an article about it and the Driscoll family. It was 1998 and I was in 7th grade. I didn't start attending until I was in college though and didn't become a member until I was married in 2010.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

I was a high school junior and the churches served as a concert venue. My first sermon was as a high school senior and I went with my older brother. He and his wife were members.

What were your first impressions?

I thought it was great. It was hip, engaging, compelling, and unapologetic. A far cry from the PCUSA church I grew up in.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

Because it didn't shy away from proclaiming biblical truths. In a city so anti-Christianity it was refreshing to feel empowered by my faith instead of constantly beaten down and criticized for it. MH's focus on community was unlike anything I had ever seen. The intentionality behind it was incredible. Growing up as a Christian in the PNW was not easy, finding a place like MH was a game changer.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

Honestly, most of it. I have made some incredible lasting relationships with people. I have learned what intentional community looks like. I have learned to be bold, and courageous. I have learned good biblical theology which has left me so much more equipped to share the gospel with others.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

Mars Hill burst the bubble of naivety i would have liked to keep. I have already learned that Jesus is bigger than the church. I have already experienced the disappointment of failed leadership so in that regard nothing that went down at MH was new to me. It didn't rock my faith or belief in the church. I was already passed that stage in my walk. It did however force me to be more discerning when it comes to who I follow and who I listen to. I can't give a pastor the benefit of the doubt any longer. That sucks. It sucks that people are sinners and it sucks that no one (or profession) is safe from that. Mars Hill left me with scars when it comes to trusting those in biblical leadership over me. I hate that.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

That there had been more transparency. It wasn't like all the members of MH were brain dead lemmings. I honestly had no idea that so much of this crap was going on. If I had (if many of us had) this history of bullying and abuse would never have gone on so long. Transparency leads
To accountability. Which MH clearly didn't have.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

It was awful. I felt stranded and disconnected in a way I hadn't felt since we joined MH. Looking for a new church was one of the hardest years of my adult life. It all felt so unnecessary. Like this all could have been avoided.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

That it was a lot less juicy and exciting than it looked from the outside. The pastoral calling is a high one, it leaves a lot of room to fall. Mark Driscoll fell and he fell hard. Mars Hill was a church whose leader failed. He failed to lead, he failed to love, he failed to repent. That's what happened. Any further detail is gossip to an outsider because the details don't matter. There are a myriad of sins that could have disqualified MD from being a pastor. The specific ones he committed were immaterial to the outcome.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

Not much. We found a new church, had another baby, we moved on with our life. We still love Jesus and we are still in Christian community. My faith and life were and are much bigger than Mark Driscoll and Mars Hill. This wasn't the first ministry I watched fail due to corruption and it may not be the last. We move on and stop dwelling on the sins of someone else. We remember and cling to the truth that Jesus is bigger than all this which is why we put our trust in him and not man.

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

I still pray that the heart of Mark Driscoll be softened. We are all called to repentance and it sucks to watch a brother in the faith sit in stubbornness. I will not hold my breath but reconciliation would be wonderful.

Barry - Downtown Seattle 2012-14

Your Name

Barry

Gender

Male

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Regular Attender

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Downtown Seattle

What years were you involved / attending?

2012, 2013, 2014

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

It was recommended to me by a pastor in Denver

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars Hill?

I attended the Ballard location for the first time.  All I could remember was that the church was big.

What were your first impressions?

It was in mind too big and impersonal for my taste.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

Over the next couple of years, I determined I wanted to be a part of the church, so I started attending the (then Belltown) downtown location.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

I served in the children's ministry.  I met a bunch of lasting friends that he either led or been in community groups, or had been in the Children's ministry.  It was wonderful sharing God's work with fellow believers.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

It became too big, too fast.  And I really did not like the pre-recorded sermons.  Where Mark taught from Ballard or Belleview, or overseas.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

Have each location doing live-preaching.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

I just did not trust Mark.  He was too distant.  I was also spiritually lazy.  

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

I really was not devastated.  I left before I invested too much time or energy into the church.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

I started attending Downtown Cornerstone Church.  I got involved there.

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

I am saddened that MH Church crumbled.  That Mark Driscoll remains unrepentant (as far as I know).  It was a great church.  And it fell hard.  I pray for all who were hurt from the fall.

Jessica - Ballard, Downtown Seattle, Portland, Tacoma 2009-13

Your Name

Jessica

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Regular Attender, Member, Group Leader (any leadership role)

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard, Downtown Seattle, Portland, Tacoma

What years were you involved / attending?

2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

Through a friend who was a member.

What were your first impressions?

The very first service me and my (now ex) husband attended was in Ballard. Mark preached a sermon directed towards men and husbands. Mark screamed half the service, calling on men to step up and take responsibility and cursing at abusers and fornicators. Having come from a long series of churches with mostly female leadership because men were simply disinterested, this was actually refreshing to me. I appreciated the fact that men were not allowed to slide under the radar here, that they were called upon to step up and be leaders.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

I had just moved back to Seattle from LA where I worked on staff at another megachurch that was centered on service and sensationalist spirituality. I had been very burnt after seeing pastors who were more business executives than anything else make horrific and unbiblical decisions behind closed doors. I was tired of hearing shallow, "encouraging" words every week and wanted to learn the scriptures in depth. If Mark is any one thing, he is thorough. I learned so much and soaked it up like a sponge.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

The most positive part of my time at Mars Hill was it's people. The pastors of MH Portland, specifically. My husband and I had moved to Portland to help start MHPDX and we were leaders there. 6 months later he had fallen back into his old life of drugs, stealing, cheating, manipulation and abuse. One night, the pastors came and picked me up, gave me a place to stay and then went back to retrieve all my belongings. I lived in my pastor's guest room for a month and everything I owned was in the church garage. Not only that, but they helped me through my divorce. None of them told me to divorce him, but none of them stopped me from leaving that abusive relationship. They helped me move a total of 3 times in 5 months. I could not have made it during that time without their support and love.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

Mark preached that men should take charge and be leaders, but he left a lot of room for men like my ex to twist it into control and abuse their wives.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

I know that the Redemption program had helped a lot of people, but I believe that it was a dangerous place for those with unstable mental health due to trauma. Without the guidance of certified counselors, there was a lot of pressure to "tell all" and forgive when sometimes a great deal of time and counseling is needed. The Redemption program was like amateurs performing heart surgery. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Mars Hill didn't take things at a case-by-case basis, it was black or white, all or nothing. "You confess. You forgive. You heal." It's not always that straightforward or easy or even healthy to do things that way.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

Well, the short version is that I began working late on Saturday nights and didn't want to wake up early to go to church so I found one that had an evening service. However, if I really wanted to I would have made it happen. With everything that my Portland pastors helped me with, they never made me feel indebted to them. I sort of fizzled out. They would check in with me here and there, but never made me feel guilty for not coming anymore. In the end, I really craved a simpler, smaller church. And one that had a real pastor preaching in front of me, rather than someone phoned in on a screen.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

Mark is a very extreme personality. He is over the top. He's human and interprets things the wrong way, shares his OPINION of the scriptures meanings. He was a part of something that got VERY big very fast and in this world of online media, he was severely attacked for his faults.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

My beliefs are unchanged. Even while attending MH my beliefs had not changed much from my previous experience. I am, however, not as involved in a church as I was and probably never will be again. I love going to church, I believe it's important and I love being surrounded by other believers. But I no longer feel guilty for missing church. God's people are his church, it's not an organization. God can speak to me on my couch as much as he can in church. My foundation is in Jesus, it's no longer in what church I go to.

Group Leader - Downtown Seattle 2009-13

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Regular Attender, Member, Group Leader (any leadership role)

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Downtown Seattle

What years were you involved / attending?

2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

From a friend who recommended Mark's sermons before we moved to Seattle.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

We lived near the downtown campus, so we visited on a Sunday.

What were your first impressions?

Music was good, people were hip, location was convenient. We were looking for a place to land in a new city, we didn't know anyone, and we needed a home. We were right out of college, young, and about to get married.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

We were a young couple, coming from different religious backgrounds. I was coming from a Catholic upbringing, and my husband grew up Protestant. We wanted to be settled in a new city, and we didn't visit any other churches. We got involved in community group right away, and those were the only people we knew in Seattle. Once we got settled in the church, we didn't really look elsewhere. Our five years there went by quickly. We were young, immature and looking for people who were older and wiser to help us grow. We were sponges.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

We learned a lot in those 5 years, which I think we would have regardless of our affiliation with the church. It the first 5 years out of college, a really formative time for becoming adults. But we did learn to read the Bible for ourselves. We learned that community is important. We learned to talk about things that are hard.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

I'm still trying to process this. I don't trust people the way I used to. I'm far more skeptical than I used to be about church. We were lied to about everything. Lied to about where the money was going, what Mark's intentions were. We were lied to about what power the other leaders of the church actually had. Scripture was manipulated to reinforce Mark’s power and ideas. We were manipulated to give more money than we could afford. (I.E. If it’s not painfully “sacrificial” it’s not worth doing.) We signed a covenant to be members of the church. We kept up our end of the bargain, but Mars Hill did not. They deceived us, used us, took our money, and shut it down in time to get away with everything. I lived in a Mars Hill bubble - all my friends and community were part of that church. I didn't know hardly any people outside the bubble. Those relationships are mostly all gone. When we left the church, a lot of people ceased communicating with us at all. I started a business during my time there, and that was widely treated like a cute hobby. I had many people ask me, assume, and tell me I should shut down the business when we had kids. We went through a really tough two years of infertility while at Mars Hill, and I'm still working through with a counselor the bullshit people told me about my infertility while I was there. I was told that I was being selfish, that I was making "everything about myself" by grieving. I was told that I needed to put on a happy face and attend the (almost weekly) baby showers I was being invited to, because I was a bad friend for not attending. I was told that if I was hurting and grieving not being able to be a mother, it was because I didn't trust God and didn't believe enough. We gave of everything we had to that church, and in the end the leadership didn't care about us at all. They turned their backs on us and thousands of others.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

We were told constantly to trust our elders, a way to silence questions and shut down dissent. It was made really clear that women were not to speak up. If your husband was a leader in the church you were a “leader’s wife” or a “pastor’s wife” but you were never really allowed to be a leader yourself. I was part of forging the women’s ministry at the church, and even though I was leading women’s bible study groups and coaching other leaders, I wasn’t able to ever get a meeting with a pastor. If I brought up questions in a group setting, I was shut down. It was made very clear that because I wanted to be a leader and my husband did not, we were not okay. Even though we served the church in several capacities every Sunday and throughout the week, we were always made to feel like it wasn’t enough. We never felt like WE were enough. We never felt totally accepted. We felt like we had to earn the right to be cared for. I’m sorry this is so jumbled. Like I said, I’m still working through it.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

We had been arguing as a family about leaving for 6 months before we finally did. I felt sick walking into the church, but my husband was (understandably) nervous about leaving. We had watched dozens of our friends leave, and had seen the cruel things said to them and about them. I know I even participated in saying unkind things. It was such a hostile environment at that time, with everyone on guard and everyone hurting. There was a huge emphasis on “leaving the right way” which included not saying anything derogatory to or about the church, not speaking publicly, using words like “God has called us to go elsewhere,” and leaving quietly. So we tried to do that. We sent the pastors a letter formally resigning our membership. There are people who have not spoken to us since. It was so hard to leave. We felt like we were losing our family. But we found ourselves in a place that went against our conscience, against what we believed, being lead by men who were doing immoral things. We had to go. Leaving was painful, but also felt a little bit like being freed from prison.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

Honestly I’ve tried to not talk about it with outsiders. It’s too messy to explain. It feels shameful to have been a part of. I feel foolish for not seeing it for what is was sooner. Mars Hill closed because Mark Driscoll had been lying and manipulating the leaders and the congregation, using people as a money making scheme to build his own empire. He ejected anyone who would stand up to him, and surrounded himself with yes men. He refused to accept critique and refused to hear anything about his own sin and failures. Instead of owning his mistakes and committing to change, he cut the rope and left the church to close.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

We have not become members at our current church even though we've been going for over a year. We don't feel comfortable with that at all right now. We're learning that we don't have to earn being cared for at church, that's the church's calling from God not a perk of membership. We’re questioning the pastor’s conclusions about the Bible, and really trying to look at things in a different way. I’m seeing a counselor to help work through stuff. We’re focusing on the healthy of our family first, not the needs of the church. It’s taking time, but we’re seeing clearly.

Maurice Morales 2009-14

Your Name

Maurice Morales

Gender

Male

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Member

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Downtown Seattle

What years were you involved / attending?

2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

I first heard of Mars Hill Church in an Alternative Christian Music Magazine called HM (Heaven's Metal). One of my favorite musical artist Jeff "Suffering" Bettger was being interviewed about his band "Suffering And The Hideous Thieves" and at the end of the interview he was sharing how he has been playing music at his church for the past years and years and that you could download "Team Strike Force" music on Mars Hill's website. This was back in 2004.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

I moved to Seattle from Las Vegas in 2009 to attend Redemption Groups at Mars Hill Downtown. Jeff Bettger invited me to live with him and his family and go through the counseling to address habitual sin in my life.

What were your first impressions?

I never heard a person ever share intimate details about how they were sin against. It was the rawest thing I ever witnessed.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

I left my home and community in Las Vegas to specifically be apart of Mars Hill Church Downtown Seattle. I never had a reason for MHCDTS to not be my home and I was never given a good reason to leave.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

Becoming a responsible man has been the biggest impact MHC has had on me. Though I'm not always the kindest, most patient, loving man I definitely see MHC being instrumental in even wanting to be a man that God is calling me to be.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

The way Mark Driscoll left the church has recently brought up some anger and bitterness toward him specifically. Though I wish him the best and he is definitely one of the greatest preachers of our generation, how he left was one of the most cowardly, lamest things I've ever seen and probably ever will see.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

Personally I felt pushed to go through the membership course. Things moved pretty fast and I wished that some things were more thoughtful and patient.

Which describes you?

I stayed at Mars Hill through closure.

Please describe why you stayed at Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

I never had a reason to leave. The few reasons that people confronted me with never resonated with me or my personal community. My wife is a women leader who was always cared for and loved and never disrespected. One person view me as a person that only saw Mars Hill Church as being the only "real" church in Seattle but that was never my experience or how I felt. In fact I would visit other churches in the Seattle area just to see what God was doing there.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

The Bible describes Jesus as a Good Shepherd and His flock is his church. He has entrusted His flock to other shepherd like himself, we call them church leaders. Jesus says when danger comes fake shepherds run away because all they care about is themselves and not His flock. That essentially happened at Mars Hill. Things got messy and leaders left and that includes Mark Driscoll.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

It's harder to follow along in a sermon. I'm used to Mark's clear communication and exposition but that's okay. I don't need every preacher to be like Mark.

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

If you need any further clarification please don't hesitate to contact me. I'm not offended to talk about this or anything else related to Mars Hill Church. It's like 11:30pm and I worked a 10 hour day so I guess I'm made it kinda quick but I also knew that If I didn't fill this out now, I'd probably won't have just because I'm kinda busy.

Thank you for including me in this. Mars Hill Church is something that means a lot to me and sometimes I get a little teary eyed just thinking about it. I'm ready for the future and ready to meet new people at my new church. Being a resource for other christians and serving them is something that means a lot to me. It's how I like to give. It's how I was loved when I first came to faith and it's how I plan to love as I continue on in my faith. I'm not into the in crowd social church garbage. Jesus church and his love is different that high school social BS.

Cheers!

Group Leader - Downtown Seattle 2008-14

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Group Leader (any leadership role)

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Downtown Seattle

What years were you involved / attending?

2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

Online, close to where I was living at the time

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

A Sunday morning visit

What were your first impressions?

Dave Kraft was preaching, I enjoyed the sermon and liked the non-church building vibe. People were friendly.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

Loved the people at downtown, and Tim Gaydos the pastor. There was a real focus on loving the community of Belltown whether business owners or the homeless it didn't matter all were welcome and we're attending.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

They invested in me in community group and thru ministries like redemption group. I grew as a leader with amazing training and oversight and served as a deacon and rg women's leader supervisor.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

The extreme negativity surrounding the breakup of the church from other believers that I was in close relationship with.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

Tough question, I believe God allowed it all to happen as it did. The best time in my memory was at the Belltown campus when we were really practically loving and serving the community around and within.  We got away from that, in my opinion, because we were so focused on growth in numbers.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

I was engaged to someone (now my husband) and he was a member at another church closer to where we would live. It was a thoughtful decision  with positive input from pastors at both churches.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

Some of it is still a mystery to me! I guess I'd say that while the desire was good (make disciples and plant churches) the methods became more and more growth focused and macro level (exactly like my experience working at big business) and that means individuals were being overlooked and in some cases hurt because it was all about the big picture. Ironically the demise of Mars Hill has lead to more disciples and more churches as they have gone independent and become smaller and more community focused. To me this shows that Jesus will build His church regardless of our sins and mistakes.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

I've become more interested in smaller, slower moving churches that emphasize social justice, grace and that are directly involved in local community. I would never attend a satellite church again.

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

Grateful for this opportunity and for my time at MH. Some of the closest relationships of my life began there. Ultimately I have hope that God will use every experience for His glory and our good as individuals and as His church.