Maggie Davidson 2011-14

Your Name

Meggie Davidson

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Group Leader (any leadership role)

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Downtown Seattle, Rainier Valley

What years were you involved / attending?

2011, 2012, 2013, 2014

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

Before moving to Seattle, I had friends at my church who recommended Mars Hill to me. And now that I'm thinking of it, they were all men under the age of 30...

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

I had spent about a year away from church following fall out with a close friend, what I felt was inauthenticity at the church I had been attending, and trying to heal from church enforced gender roles (ironic isn't it?). I felt God calling me back to church and I thought of MHC since I had been recommended to me a couple years back. I lived sort of equidistant from Ballard, UW, and Downtown, but Downtown's service times for my schedule, so I tried it out.

What were your first impressions?

I loved the worship music. And people seemed pretty friendly. Thought Mark's preaching was good (this was March 2011). I stayed afterward to go to a post service gathering and met some great people (a few I am actually still friends with) and it made me want to come back.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

I loved the community I found at Mars Hill. I made so many friends there, and got into serving, which really connected me to the church. I felt like it was where God wanted me to be.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

I learned and grew a lot at Mars Hill. People actually confessing and talking about their sins to other people was so different for me. I was used to the "pretend it didn't happen or hide it" school of thought. Redemption groups, though incredibly difficult, was also a big part of that. I didn't understand what repentance meant before that.
And again, I grew lots of meaningful friendships and relationships there. It also ended up being where I met my husband (and I definitely like him).

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

The last 1.5-2 years were really painful. It was difficult to watch pastors and staff that I cared about leaving the church, and for a significant period of time not be allowed to know why. There was so much lying, secret keeping and back pedaling done by Mars Hill on what was communicated to members that it made your head spin. And some times, I could understand why. For people that loved the church and wanted to see it prosper and really wanted to believe that Mark wasn't doing bad things, even if you knew things were wrong or off, you still wanted to defend the church.
Also, I was a member of Rainier Valley where we had to deal with all the crud following Willie's departure. I was also an intern there, and the staff being incredibly immature and not knowing what they were doing we were taken advantage of. There was also the absolute garbage that was the pre marriage class we took (done at RV). The stress of "traditional gender roles" which placed far more burden on the woman (which was universal in MHC) disgusted both myself and my husband. Even before we took the class we were asked to fill out this insanely invasive form which we wanted to talk to the leaders about, but they were unwilling to do so. We were told to just "submit to their authority" in the matter. One of the leaders also, in all seriousness, called my husband, then fiancée, a special snowflake because he was challenging the matter.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

The fixation with "authority". If you disagreed, or challenged something you were dismissed as being divisive and the matter was never considered.
The open handed issues that were actually closed handed issues like complementarian vs egalitarian. Things they disagreed with were so talked down that you were essentially a heretic for holding a different viewpoint.

Which describes you?

I stayed at Mars Hill through closure.

Please describe why you stayed at Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

We stayed because we felt God calling us to do so. And it was incredibly difficult. We wanted to leave, but also wanted to love the other people remaining because not everyone understood what was going on. As a couple we had a lot of fights about staying vs leaving. And there was the weird awkwardness of when other people would leave the church.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

Mars Hill was a massive multi campus mega church that had overbearing and abusive tendencies which were dictated by the lead pastor, Mark Driscoll. The way it was run was monetarily unsustainable, so when many pastors left and and the massive failings of Mark came to light, he ran and the church couldn't stay open.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

There were unfortunately things we still couldn't say because we went to Rainier Valley post Mars Hill (it still operates in some core beliefs and convictions as a mini Mars Hill). But now we've moved to a different city and now attends church that matches with our convictions. We believe, and can openly now say, an egalitarian viewpoint in marriage and the way the church is run. Women should be in leadership and should be pastors (our current church's staff has 2). We have believe in inclusivity for LGBT people. We feel so much better and freer being at a church that does a lot of things we used to love about Mars Hill (serving the city, an [actual] fatherly pastor) but does it in a way that's sustainable and is about Jesus. Our pastor and staff isn't out to make money, or make their names great.

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

Overall, I did love Mars Hill, and for a while I wanted to believe the best about Mark and the situation. But I really am ultimately glad the Titanic sank, and I hope and pray that some day he actually changes, and that the damage caused by the church can be healed in the hearts of those it offended.

Member - Ballard, Downtown Seattle, Rainier Valley, West Seattle 2000-13

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Member, Group Leader (any leadership role)

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard, Downtown Seattle, Rainier Valley, West Seattle

What years were you involved / attending?

2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

My boyfriend's coworker told him about MH, suggesting we may like it.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

I wasn't a believer but my boyfriend was. He asked me to go to church with him.

What were your first impressions?

People seemed genuinely friendly, not fake or super righteous. I enjoyed the sermon because I felt like I was really learning, not just about God, but history too.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

We both felt it was the perfect combination of learning the Bible and how it's relevant to our lives in the present. Friendships were genuine and we appreciated the community.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

See above.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

Those friendships turned out to be not as genuine as we thought. As the church became multi campus, those friends soon became more invested in their new communities. It felt like we were friends out of convenience, so there was a sense of loss. Leadership became unapproachable which also contributed to that feeling.
The teaching from the pulpit permeated throughout community groups and staff and I became "lesser" as a female all across the board. The part of me that was strong and capable used to be valued and was appreciated in the leadership role I had. Then it became the very thing that was used against me because "I was preventing my husband from leading".

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

Honesty.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

I wanted to leave when Bent & Paul were fired but my husband wasn't ready. When we left in 3/13, we both felt called to go.
We left when the Result Source scandal surfaced, but there were compounding issues that led up to it as well.
Leadership became abusive in sin hunting and their actions/counsel devoid of grace.
When we left, all relationships ended.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

Pride and dishonesty in leadership.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

We haven't been to church since, with the exception of a handful of times checking out different churches.
We nearly got divorced and are still feeling the repercussions of MH's teaching on marriage.

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

Mark Driscoll is a coward and I struggle not to hate him for what he's done. Displacing *thousands* of people from church is unconscionable.

Member - Bellevue, Rainier Valley 2011-13

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Regular Attender, Member

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Bellevue, Rainier Valley

What years were you involved / attending?

2011, 2012, 2013

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

Through my then fiancé, now husband. He was an intern, then attended Re:train, and then was unpaid full-time staff for several years.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

I attended as a visitor from out of state the first couple of times before I moved to Seattle after my husband and I were married. I became a member and volunteer shortly after.

What were your first impressions?

It was hard for me. I couldn't relate to many of the congregants at Bellevue campus as most were from a demographic I wasn't used to (wealthy, white, suburbs). I didn't feel comfortable with an on screen pastor and with how much the topic of money, submission, sex from a male perspective, and hell were talked about.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

My husband was very involved and there were several pastors who spoke into our lives at key points in our lives that we really appreciated. I wanted to be involved in a local church that would love the city.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

There are several friendships that will be lifelong that came out of being there. There are moments of grace where God worked through specific people who volunteered there that changed our lives in a positive way because they genuinely loved us and poured into us.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

It has taken years to heal and recover from some of the hurt and pain from that experience. We lost a lot financially as a result of the amount of time and expectations placed on us as full time unpaid staff in addition to our regular jobs. The amount of shame and emotional manipulation as well as hurtful language and bullying techniques used took a huge toll after awhile. As a woman, I was treated as an afterthought that was attached to my husband. There were several meetings with staff where I was yelled at and asked about my sex life just as a routine measure of accountability. On the rare occasion where someone felt they should apologize to me for going too far, they would do so through my husband. The entire time I was there, I always felt that I was not doing enough, giving enough, or producing enough.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

The way I experienced and saw women being treated was really harmful mentally and spiritually. Some of it was sexual harassment and some of it was bullying because of a misinterpretation of Scripture. I saw rape victims run out of services screaming because they felt revictimized by the intensity of the subject of submission. I will never forget this and feel it was a huge disservice to them. I also saw faithful women serving behind the scenes who were yelled at over misunderstandings because the men felt it was their right. I personally experienced intense psychological trauma because of in depth meetings with leaders who felt it was their right to interview me on my sex life with my husband and determine how healthy it was in addition to determining what category of redemption I needed from my past. My husband was routinely yelled at for not providing more financially despite giving over 40 hours of free labor to the church weekly. It was hard to not feel this burden spiritually and to feel betrayed by friends. When we left Mars Hill as graciously and quietly as we could so as not to cause division, we lost all our friendships except for one at that location and were accused of many things publicly that were untrue.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

I left Mars Hill because I felt that results had become more important than people. I wanted to be part of a church that was not known for its love for each other and the city.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

Mars Hill stopped being a church and became a business that burned through people. It was no longer a safe place to be known and loved. The focus was on numbers and money at the expense of people.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

For awhile I couldn't attend a church or talk to a pastor without visibly shaking. It took me a long time to accept God's love for me and to rest in that. I found a church that has loved me unconditionally and provided the friendships and safe community I had hoped to find for so long. I feel the freedom to be myself without having to do anything. I'm still healing but hopeful.

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

I love Seattle and have grieved at how this may have pushed people further away from God. Many people have been hurt by churches and this very publicly added to that hurt. I hope that as there are so many people healing, that we will love our community and reflect the kindness of God and His love for all people.

Group Leader - Ballard, Bellevue, Rainier Valley 2009-14

Gender

Male

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Member, Group Leader (any leadership role)

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard, Bellevue, Rainier Valley

What years were you involved / attending?

2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

Don't remember, but it was prior to being in the Seattle area and I listened to some podcasts.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

I was visiting a friend on Vashon Island and went to a service in Ballard before driving home.

What were your first impressions?

It was big and dark and the people looked "cool".

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

Mars Hill had a strange way of sucking you in and providing a social place for you to belong. As a shy loner it wasn't something I'd experienced elsewhere and was alone in Seattle. So it just grew from there.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

Despite everything I did become a Christian there. That's positive. And I do have several very good friendships that have survived.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

I've always felt like I don't fit in or measure up, so prolonged time at Mars Hill has left me with a very low view of myself. If everything Mark said about what it means to be a good Christian man is true, I'm a failure. Single, not tough, longtime struggler with addictions.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

More focus on people and the Gospel, not growth and "being all that you can be". A place for broken and contrite sinners to help and care for each other. That's broad and vague, but I don't know what specifically should have been changed. The corporate structure of things was clearly a breeding ground for corruption, so that should have been scrapped.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

I waited and waited for things to change. Instead I saw more mistreatment of people I knew very closely and repeated media spin instead of change.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

It was built on a celebrity personality instead of being a church. So naturally sandy ground can't support something forever.  

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

I'm in a more traditional church now. It's only maybe 100 people, which is nice. My beliefs are at the core unchanged but I'm highly suspect of the christian growth movement and megachurches. I'm also the most depressed I've ever been. I even moved away from Seattle just to get away for the constant reminders of how terrible things were.