Angela Giboney 1997-2014

Your Name

Angela Giboney

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Regular Attender, Member, Group Leader (any leadership role)

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard, Bellevue, Downtown Seattle, Lake City / Wedgewood, Portland, Shoreline, Sammamish, Tacoma, West Seattle

What years were you involved / attending?

1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

The person I was dating had played sports in high school with Mark. He told me about Mars Hill.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

It was at Laurel Hurst.

What were your first impressions?

Young, interesting, bible preaching, unusual music ever that sometimes was difficult to sing.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

The people of Mars Hill loved and cared for me, I became a member and God made it clear it was home in this season.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

God used the time at Mars Hill to move me from trusting Him with my eternity to trusting Him with my life.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

Sadness that God's church was grown in way that included the pain of The body not giving the grace they have received and want to leaders when they sinned and were blind to their sin.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

Better communication and less fear.  More resources to children and a willingness to grow slower to ensure the people were not getting ahead of God's equipping.

Which describes you?

I stayed at Mars Hill through closure.

Please describe why you stayed at Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

God did not tell me to leave, so I stayed, so that I could be used for His glory where I was.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

Our church went through a difficult time and because of sin and fear that occurred over many years and the unforgiving response of some who claim to be Christians.  The plan for a long time was that if anything every happened to Mark the locations would each become different churches.  If Mark had stayed, the attention would have been on him, not on Jesus and for the safety and mental and physical protection of his children he could not continue in the same role.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

It is hard to be excited about church to the degree we were before.  I have not yet heard from God where He wants me to declare membership.

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

God's church will continue to grow and many churches are being equipped with trained leaders for His glory, they are growing with people hungry for God and his word.  I wish God would have chosen a different solution, but God knows much better than I do what is necessary and best.

Member - Ballard 1996-2014

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Regular Attender, Member

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard

What years were you involved / attending?

1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2012, 2013, 2014

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

My boyfriend at the time brought me to Mars Hill. He went to church with Mark Driscoll in Pullman, WA.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

I had been attending a dying church of a bunch of older people in Seattle so it was exciting to see a church with so many young people.

What were your first impressions?

I like Mark Driscoll I liked his sense of humor and he was friendly. It seemed like a Biblically sound church. I didn't care for the music but it grew on me.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

My boyfriend was committed to MH because he had known Mark Driscoll since he was in college.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

I learned that we are saved by grace. I stopped being legalistic.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

My boyfriend turned ex husband treated me badly using teaching he picked up at Mars Hill. I never wanted to serve because I didn't fit the cookie cutter what Mars Hill was looking for in serving

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

I wish Mark Driscoll had been less hard on women. I wish my ex had not gone off the deep end with the teachings of Mars Hill.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

I left MH first time because it was my ex husband idea and I came back in December 2012 but left again because of the  controversial stuff coming out of Mars Hill in March 2014. I don't recall which one because there were so many.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

Very sad and Mars Hill didn't have to close

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

I'm in a healthy church and I'm thriving.

Robb S. - Ballard 2003-07

Your Name

Robb S.

Gender

Male

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Member

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard

What years were you involved / attending?

2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

From a friend at Antioch Bible Church who said it was a place where "everyone cool" was going to church.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

I was a college freshman and had just moved to Seattle from Redmond.  I rode the bus from U-District to Ballard with my neighbor (it was also her first time).  

What were your first impressions?

I loved the atmosphere, silent and dark.  I loved how simple everything was—just some music, a sermon that felt more like an engaging lecture, and communion.  Everything was so introspective and thoughtful, and because of the simplicity, what stood out were the words from the sermon and the songs.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

Mars Hill felt like home to me because it felt like a church without all the cultural cruft of previous generations of American Christianity.  The music of a much higher caliber than any other church I had seen, and so disconnected from the manufactured Christian contemporary genre.  I felt like I was learning so much about the Bible from the sermons that I had never heard in my years growing up in the church and attending Christian schools.  I had a strong Christian community that ended up mostly joining the church after me so all of my close friends became my core community at the church.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

Mars Hill introduced me to Reformed thinking which I still feel is a helpful framework to work in, even though I have some heterodox beliefs that would probably be shocking to those who are strictly Reformed.  Mars Hill showed me the potential for what "Christian" art and music could be at its best.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

Around the time I left Seattle, I noticed that the sermons began to become more and more devoid of scriptural content, and more and more filled with anecdotes and stories from Mark Driscoll's life.  The worship service started integrating strange things like live video of the musicians performing as background for the lyrics, extensive and colorful stage lighting, and moving picture backdrops.  The aesthetic of the service had gradually pushed in a new direction that was displeasing to me and felt commercialized.  The firing of Paul Petry and Bent Meyer left a sour taste in my mouth since I had worked with Paul Petry praying for people after the services, and Bent was a close friend of a friend.  I was going to ask Paul if he would officiate my wedding.  When the 100+ page document answering everyone's questions about Paul, Bent, and the bylaws came out, I was impressed with the church's response.  Only later did I find out it was very deceitful.  This combined with a couple of close friends having extremely negative interactions with church leadership led to me having a very poor impression of the church after the fact.  At the time I attended, I didn't see much wrong, but in the years after I left Seattle, I realized the many problems that had been lurking in the background all along.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

Mars Hill before 2008 was in a relatively good place though some in the leadership were willing to lie and make moves to gain tighter control.  The bylaws dispute was obviously the major turning point where there was no going back.  The only thing that could have prevented the long slow demise would be the leadership being held to a greater level of accountability by the congregation.  This also would have required greater openness to the congregation, not the half-truths that were spun out by the leadership whenever they were caught doing something that was a PR disaster.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

I left Mars Hill because I decided to go to grad school in the Midwest.  I had been in my new city for a couple months when I called the church office to tell whoever was there to put in their records that I lived in a different state and was resigning my membership.  It felt extremely anticlimactic at the time.  It was right before the membership "re-up" so they would have taken me off the rolls regardless shortly after.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

Mars Hill's senior leaders were abusive to their employees and volunteers.  They made selfish decisions regarding their own compensation, branding, marketing, etc. They ran the church less like a church and more like a corporation, using things like non-disclosure agreements, non-compete agreements for pastors, unethical bestseller list campaigns for book sales, etc.  After all these things enough people had had enough and the senior leaders were called to account.  Rather than admit they were in the wrong, they walked away.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

I have become very liberal politically, but my religious beliefs are only slightly more progressive than before.  By all accounts I would still be considered a theological conservative and I am a member of a church that has a similar theological framework as Mars Hill did.  The church is much smaller though and I don't think I would ever attend a megachurch again.  I'm glad to give up "better" music and "better" teaching to be in a place where I can know others and be known.

Joyce Hawkinson 2001-14

Your Name

Joyce Hawkinson

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Member, Group Leader (any leadership role)

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard, Lake City / Wedgewood, Shoreline, U-District

What years were you involved / attending?

2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

My daughter was a student at SPU and told me about a Bible study leader who was being asked to move off campus because he was teaching a traditional role for women that the school didn't want to promote.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

I went to the old Paradox in the U-district to hear him teach, and it happened to be the night he first unloaded on young men about how they should value and cherish the women in their lives.  I had recently been strangled by my then-husband, and the contrast between what I had experienced and what he described made me weep.  

What were your first impressions?

He was genuine, honest about his inexperience, funny, and challenged people to live FOR Christ, not just with an awareness of Christ.  He was a little awkward, but said he had confidence that if he told the truth about what God said in the Bible, everything would be alright.  

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

Every week (and during CG) I was challenged to change -- to allow the Word to transform me from within.  The reformed (Calvinist) approach gave me a freedom to love and serve out of gratitude for grace rather than because of duty and shame.  I began to have joy in my salvation for the first time in my life!  I came to love the music, the sound lyrics, and the experience of feeling like I was singing with a band every week.  
It was also the first time I felt like inviting people to church!  I recommended MH to strangers if they were new in town, to relatives, to neighbors.  
I also felt like whatever I did to serve at MH was contributing to bringing people to Christ because lives were being changed.  
The 'gap' in late 2005, 2006 and early 2007 was caused because we lived in CA during that time, and we really missed MH and Mark Driscoll's preaching.  When we moved back, there seemed to have been a shift in his attitude, and when he spoke one Sunday about learning humility, I realized I was sensing pride.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

The freedom of a new perspective (Calvinist over Arminian) was very positive, and continues to energize my life.  I learned more theology than in the previous decades I had been a Christian, especially when I was included in the first year of ReTrain for women.  Redemption Groups and the training to serve in that ministry have changed me and the way I relate to others.  I learned to be open about struggling with life, with belief, with grief -- being transparent had always terrified me, but as my theology deepened, I realize I had nothing to fear.  My identity comes from my King, not from what others think of me.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

There was an arrogance to the leadership in specific places -- not all.  In a matter of discipline over his poor communication, my husband was stripped of his position as a deacon, and the CG we led and hosted was closed.  There was no opportunity for him to apologize (even when he asked for it) and no one called to see how we were doing.  In fact, the pastor wouldn't even look me in the eye at church.  There was no redemptive factor in the whole situation, which seemed to go against what the church is about.  We transferred back to Ballard, and were welcomed, trained with love (thank you Bill Clem) and given the opportunity to work through the situation (thank you Mike Wilkerson).  It became a transformative time for my husband in spite of how poorly it was handled at the outset.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

I always felt slightly like an outsider, but put it down to my age.  (I'm over 40, considerably, and that wasn't the 'target market.')  I took a leadership role in an online group for people with food allergies, but was discouraged from actually making anything happen other than online communication -- having actual meetings was not said to be efficient use of the building because turnout was difficult to predict and sometimes small.   After three gatherings I was asked to stop scheduling them even though they served the group well.  It would have been helpful to have encouragement as I served instead of having to fight for opportunities.
I would have preferred that we have governance by a board of elected elders, of which the pastor would have one vote.  Transparent and honest financial accounting would have prevented some of the problems that closed MH's doors.    

Which describes you?

I stayed at Mars Hill through closure.

Please describe why you stayed at Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

We stayed members at MH throughout the disruption although didn't attend as frequently because my husband's 90+ year-old mother had come to live with us and wanted to attend somewhere else.  Anywhere else.  The music was too loud, the pastor wasn't loud enough at times, nothing fit for her.  We continued to attend some Sunday evenings and stayed in our CG, but took her elsewhere in the morning.  It was heart-wrenching to see the disappointment and confusion in people's eyes.  We went to Bellevue a couple of Sundays to try to communicate with Mark, to encourage him, but couldn't get near him.  

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

Pride led to a downfall.  There was too much power vested in one or two men (Driscoll and Turner) and not enough accountability.  That led to actions that couldn't be justified (the Bestseller List deception and the lies about how profits were going back to MH when they actually went into funds for his family that the church would get eventually, after he died.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

My beliefs in God are solid, but my eagerness to attend church has waned.  We are members at another church and serve faithfully, but it's much easier to consider missing a Sunday than it used to be.  I pray for the leadership who so sadly messed up something that God was using because of their pride and greed.  At the same time, I recognize that in God's sovereignty, He is using even this mess for His glory.  
I miss the music, and I miss Mark's sense of humor and unique perspective.  

Jennifer Roach 2002-03

Your Name

Jennifer Roach

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Member, Group Leader (any leadership role)

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard

What years were you involved / attending?

2002, 2003

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

On the internet

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

We moved to Seattle and lived a short distance from the Ballard building, which was the only campus at the time.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

Mark's abusive attitude toward women - which was cloaked in being "doctrinally sound" - had the most negative impact on me. When Mark and I disagreed on something, he decided to write an open letter to my husband telling him, "shut your wife up, or I'll shut her up for you."  He used threats and power plays from the very beginning.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

When we left, we lost all of our friends.  We were shunned by everyone.  I received anonymous emails from several men in the church, one of whom said that I was, "an adulterous whore" for trying to "take Mark down."  Another said that he understood that I did these things because I was mentally ill.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

Mark's narcissistic and toxic leadership style.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

Our family has moved on to a liturgical church where there is far less possibility of the "celebrity pastor" culture that Mars Hill had.

Regular Attender - Ballard, Shoreline 2003-08

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Regular Attender

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard, Shoreline

What years were you involved / attending?

2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

I first attended at age 13 with my parents. Our church had just imploded, and we were searching for a new church. We had heard about a small church in Ballard with a unique name from other people who were now also church-less.

What were your first impressions?

The small church building was already bursting at the seams when we came. The people there were from a variety of ages, and we were incredibly impressed by the music and the enthusiasm of the people in attendance. We thought Mark gave a powerful sermon.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

I mostly attended because my parents went there for many years, although I attended on my own before I went to college. I attended because I knew other young people who went there, and we liked getting coffee after church and discussing the sermon. Community with other young people was the primary reason for my attendance after age 16 or so.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

While at first my attendance at Mars Hill brought me closer to some great people, that swiftly began to change.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

I slowly watched friends and family change while attending Mars Hill. They became more paranoid about the "liberal agenda," became more homophobic and misogynistic, and much less willing to discuss any viewpoints other than the ones Mark Driscoll espoused. The men in my life became more authoritative. At a Bible camp that many of us at Mars Hill attended, a new rule was created in which women could no longer speak at all during communion, even in the very informal setting we had at camp. The women there accepted this with heavy hearts and fearful obedience.

Most of all I would say we were negatively impacted by fear. Friends of ours cut all ties with a family who disagreed with Mark on an issue. We were no longer friends with them or their children. Friendships were lost over tiny issues that shouldn't have amounted to anything. I began to feel like I wasn't as intelligent or spiritual or capable of leadership because of my gender. I began to fear the idea of marriage, because I didn't know if I would ever meet a man I could obey.

A close friend of mine married an abusive boyfriend because she thought his behavior was just that of a Christian man ruling her with Biblical authority. She is now no longer allowed to speak to me because I was considered divisive, but I have heard that she may now be suffering physical abuse.

It has taken me years to recover from this experience. Much Christian therapy at a local Lutheran church has made it so I can finally attend church and pray without fear.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

There needed to be accountability and better leadership. Women needed to be given a voice. Different opinions should have been welcomed instead of silenced.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

I moved away to Bellingham for college, so I left the church in 2008.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

I would say that there were many scandals regarding money, unethical behavior, bullying leadership, and a culture of fear.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

I have begun to realize that God loves me even though I am a woman. And that he gave me a mind and a voice, and I should be able to use them as the holy spirit leads.