Member - Ballard 2007-14

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Member

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard

What years were you involved / attending?

2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

Drove by it all the time. We had never heard of it besides that.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

We just needed to hear God's word.

What were your first impressions?

We heard the gospel.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

We visited one or two other churches and liked how direct P Mark was.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

There was a lot of truth about Jesus preached. I never understood God's grace until MH.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

My self identity as a woman of God. That so many people can't go back to church now.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

Nothing. I think the fall of MH came because too many people idolized MD and/or MH, as well as the leaders losing sight of the true gospel.
MH didn't walk the walk very well.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

We left when Pastor Phil was fired. He was one of the only reasons we stayed as long as we did. He was our light house, so to speak. 

We knew things were wrong before that, but we still had hope that the ship would be righted eventually.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

The leaders fell into the trap and lies of business over heart, condemnation over grace.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

I have realized what a real church family looks like. A Seattle Church is awesome.

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

I’m over MH. But i know that a lot of people are not and it breaks my heart. They've lost sight of who God is, and what His providence is. Mars Hill was not God, God did not fail, He was in control. MD and ST chose sin and condemnation instead of God's perfect grace. That's all, happens everyday.

I hope your questionnaire can help some people. Thanks for doing it.

Regular Attender - Ballard 2004-07

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Regular Attender

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard

What years were you involved / attending?

2004, 2005, 2006, 2007

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

College roommates of mine who were brilliant, scholarly women that I looked up to and respected were regular attenders. And then my friends started going, more and more of them.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

One friend invited me to come along. It seemed way cooler than UPC which I had been attending fairly regularly my first year of college. I remember debating what to wear. Would I fit in?

What were your first impressions?

Big, loud twangy music. Lots of people. All of them dressed in dark colors, cooler than me, all contemplative and deep.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

It seemed like a good place to be. At the time it was refreshing to have long seemingly honest and well said sermons. Most people will listen to a charismatic speaker regardless of what he says. And then there were the underlying vibe, not necessarily directly stated from the pulpit, but somewhat implied, that this was the only church in Seattle preaching the truth and not being wimpy about things.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

For better or worse, Mark did a great job of getting up front and saying we all shouldn't be listening to him, we should be looking for truth in the bible. But then he would give his interpretation of biblical truth on a subject and we all would listen and believe him. Somehow, when I really started to disagree, I at least felt empowered to look at the bible myself and come to different conclusions. For that I am thankful.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

I grew up in a fairly liberal Lutheran church. Nothing crazy, but surrounded by strong women in leadership roles. I got to Mars and was somehow quickly convinced that all of that was wrong. That my mom shouldn't have been working when I grew up. One horrible Mother's Day sermon by pastor Leif, that I still to this day regret bringing my mother to, had her in tears, apologizing to me as we left, asking, "did you feel like I wasn't there for you?" My mom was amazing.

Somehow we still stayed after that, and my then boyfriend became my fiancé and we eagerly jumped into premarital counseling. I'm beyond grateful that we didn't listen to what the pastors were saying in our one on one sessions. They told us we weren't comparable. All of my answers were wrong to the online test we'd been given because somehow I'd managed to push aside all of the "fine china" ideas that women weren't capable of being equal partners and my answers reflected that. I'm proud to say that despite Mars Hill, we went ahead and got married and have been happily married for almost 10 years now in a marriage of equal roles that don't always divide down traditional gender roles. I mean, that proverbs 31 woman was out buying fields. And that's what I held regardless of how many times the pastors in the premarital group said I needed to consult my husband before making most purchases.

I feel like I could go on and on, there are a lot of moments and feelings I think I've chosen to push aside and forget. All in all, the most negative and lasting impact Mars Hill has had is my continued inability to trust a church. And that really sucks.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

The attitude towards women and gender rolls. I still cringe when I hear the word "submission" in any context.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

I was struggling with being there, but we stayed because my husband was getting things out of the preaching, thankfully the things he was getting we're all good and inspiring him to be a better husband and person, so I was willing to sit through church for him. And then, Mark announced that they were going to do a  sermon series on the book of Ruth. I was thrilled. They were going to be talking about women! And within the first sermon I knew I no longer wanted to be at Mars Hill.  I'm pretty sure if Mark had named the book he would've called it Boaz and not Ruth. I was simultaneously amazed and absolutely disappointed that somehow this book of the Bible named for a brave and Godly woman named Ruth could be preached on in a way that it seemed like it was about a man named Boaz and how awesome he was.

At the same time they were suddenly interested my husband for a leadership role. And then just as suddenly they weren't. Because it turns out they looked into our giving and saw that we weren't giving anything- or so they thought. We received an annual statement of giving in the mail with a big fat 0 in it. Oh, and someone with sticky fingers manages to accidentally slip someone else's statement into our envelope. Great job with privacy on that one. The thing is, we had been giving, but the name on our checks was slightly different from the name they had in record for my husband. At this point, he was a member and I wasn't technically. We'd both gone through the membership classes before getting married, I'd just never completed the interview and he had. I think part of me was not wanting to officially commit all along.

Anyhow, after calling a pastor we knew and trusted, he apologized for the mixup with the tithing. And through a couple of conversations with different people in leadership we realized that was why they were suddenly so cold towards my husband about becoming an elder. I mean, you'd think they could have at least asked him outright about his giving.

And then there were friends calling us asking what we thought about the bad advice they were getting from pastors and elders. And then when you saw how much chaos existed inside of the leadership, how many young men without wisdom or experience were being put in the position to counsel others and giving terrible advice, you just saw that this couldn't last forever.

And don't even get me started about when I got to the point with the crap Mark was saying and things in the media that made me beyond embarrassed to admit that I went there.  Even after I left Mars Hill I felt embarrassed to even say I was a Christian in Seattle because of the negative impact the church had on people's ideas of Christianity. It sucks when the church limits your ability to witness to non-believers around you and when it strips you of all believability and trustworthiness.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

God's will being done.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

My convictions and beliefs are my own now. I'm not trying to force myself to believe what someone else tells me is the truth. And I'm happy. I just wish I wasn't still too scared to commit to a church.

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

For me the most healing part is realizing that I'm not alone. I'm not the only person that was negatively impacted and I'm not the only person trying to come to terms and heal.   I was always somebody who worried about doing the right thing in God's eyes and not sitting and being the perfect Christian and unfortunately Mars Hill was the exact type of place to pray on my insecurities and get me to spend years thinking that I wasn't good enough and that my unwillingness to submit to my husband was a sin. I had enough guilt going into Mars Hill. And I stayed so long because I felt guilt and was somehow convinced that no other church had the truth in the same way. Leaving was very freeing.

Private - Ballard 1998-2007

Gender

Prefer not to say

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

I was one of the above but prefer not to specify.

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard

What years were you involved / attending?

1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

We received a postcard from the Push Turbocat Lounge advertising something related to MH.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

We came on a Sunday evening to services.

What were your first impressions?

Eclectic mix of semi-liturgical feel with a more modern touch.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

We believed that the core values of Meaning, Truth, Beauty, and Community were important. We thought that MH was the best mix of conservative values theologically with liberal allowances artistically.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

MH loved kids in a way I had never seen before. Initially there was no Children's church or youth group, and I appreciated that.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

The attitude of superiority that members (and later ex-members) had. The general attitude is that either you are for us or against us.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

I think that none of the people in positions of ministry were qualified to be in those positions. Mark Driscoll was not a great pastor, but plenty of the other elders (even pre-bylaws fiasco) were simply horrible pastors. In fact, I can honestly say that Mark Driscoll wasn't even close to the worst of the pastors at MH.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

We left when the cult of MH-theology was too strong. The elders were unqualified, and they did little to help with issues.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

It is sad that MH closed on the one hand, but on another hand it was inevitable. The Mark Driscoll detractors seemed to think that MH could exist without Driscoll in authority, and that simply wasn't possible. Driscoll had no reason to stay the moment that he was placed under church discipline. The entire movement against MH looked (and continues to look) like bitterness and anger. Sure, people that left almost a decade ago likely left under unfortunate circumstances; but after a certain point you can't blame all your problems on someone else. Furthermore, having Rob Smith, Paul Petry, and Bent Meyer as the poster children of Driscoll abuse was unwise. All three men have a history of being abusive when they have been in positions of power. All three men were unqualified to be pastors. All three men grievously sinned against members of MH, and placing them in the position of perfection lost makes it impossible for those that left MH due to their abuses to speak up for healing.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

I am no longer a Protestant Christian.

Seth MacGillivray 2003-11

Your Name

Seth MacGillivray

Gender

Male

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Group Leader (any leadership role)

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard, Bellevue

What years were you involved / attending?

2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

I wrote this on my Facebook page in November of 2014, a couple of days after it was announced that Mars Hill was officially closing down as a church. I think it still speaks to how I feel about my time there.

Eleven years ago, I walked into a dimly lit former warehouse with crazy art hung up everywhere, tattooed and pierced guys and girls handing out pamphlets, hard rock reverberating through the dark-painted walls, and a short, kinda thick guy up on stage yelling at everyone. The place was called Mars Hill Church. I was a new Christian, and had a view of most Jesus-followers as a cross between Ned Flanders and high school girls who listened to DC Talk. Here was something new, at least to me: an ultra-orthodox view of the bible combined with a liberal view of the world.

We weren't a small church by the time I joined – probably a thousand or so weekly attendees at that point- but we were still small enough to be the young rebel in town, and we all felt like we were a part of something special. We wanted to change the world, one person at a time; not just by our message, but by the way we lived our lives. Be the best tippers, be the best employees and bosses, be the best neighbors, be friends with everyone. Engage – rather than judge – the world around us. Be light, and be love. Be like Jesus.

We had gays and jocks and hipsters and nerds. We had the homeless who wandered in, grabbed a cup of coffee and a pastry, and wandered back out. We had former (and current) junkies, unmarried couples who were still sleeping together even though they got yelled at every week by Mark, atheists and agnostics who loved to argue but still came every Sunday, and even those Christians who listened to Christian radio. We were mostly young, and though we were full of hubris and the arrogance that can only come from those who feel like they're traveling paths never traveled before, we loved and revered the few older couples and families who (always) sat in the front, and the elder statesmen of our faith like John Piper, John MacArthur, R.C. Sproul.

Once I was asked if, were something to happen to Mark, Mars Hill Church would survive. It would, I said, because of other elders we had at the time: men like Lief Moi, and James Harleman, and Scott Thomas, and Paul Petry.

I remember meeting people that became friends that I still have today. I remember learning to love to read my bible, and debate theology, and learn old Christian hymns arranged in new ways. I remember plenty of dates that didn't go so well, and I remember meeting my wife in a Starbucks when she overheard me talking about my church. I remember conversations where friends, much wiser than I, told me to grow up and be a better man than I was. I remember outdoor baptisms, and I remember two college girls walking by in West Seattle, hearing about Jesus, and getting dunked, fully clothed, in freezing-cold water with tears streaming down their faces. I remember crying myself, at every single baptism I ever witnessed.

We all know by now the recent history: the consolidation of power, the public lying, the financial malfeasance, the exorbitant salaries, the character assassination of anyone who ever spoke out, the shady book deals, the growing call from former and current members and elders for change, and the last, final betrayal from a man who refused to submit to the very discipline he always preached was necessary as a Christian.

It seems, at this point, that Mars Hill Church will be only a memory in a few years.

Ten years ago, I saw a former heroin addict OD in the lobby of Mars Hill in Ballard. One of our volunteers knew how to care for him, and while we called 911, he attended to him. The medics showed up soon after, and carried him out on a stretcher, still unconscious but breathing. Two weeks later, that same man was back, carrying trash bags from the bathroom to the dumpster. He was there because he was loved by us, and he loved us in return. He was there because he was home.

Mars Hill Church may be but a memory in a few years, but that's the memory I'll hold on to.

Kat - Ballard, Downtown Seattle 2006-12

Your Name

Kat

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Member

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard, Downtown Seattle

What years were you involved / attending?

2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

My roommate attended.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

I came to a community group with a roommate, and then the next week visited the Ballard campus.

What were your first impressions?

It was very unique to me. I was used to churches with older traditions and the people in the pulpit didn't have tattoos or use language like me. It was really refreshing to me to see a well put together service when I had been mostly involved with unorganized small churches.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

When I started attending, I wasn't aware of the controversy surrounding the church and met some great people. By the time I started hearing complaints about the church, I had already been involved with a great group of people so it was hard for me to see other perspectives as valid.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

For my family, it is mostly community. I met my partner at Mars hill, married him and had kids there. All of our friends were from the church and it was most of our social life.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

I am no longer a believer, so looking back on my years as a fundamentalist is painful. I can see now that the concerns that those outside of the church brought to me were real. Mars Hill taught me everything could be answered and explained, and when I realized that isn't how the gospel works in the real world, I had to throw the whole thing out and start building truth of my own.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

Attitude toward challengers, healthier leadership,  focus more on outreach than growing the army of Mars hill.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

We had been aware of some things at the church that weren't resting well with us, but thought we could be part of the change in the broken machine. While out of town on vacation I became overwhelmed suddenly with a desire to distance myself from the church, out of nowhere, my husband also had the same conviction. We decided to leave and then a few weeks later our campus pastor was asked to step  down and then in the months following, we saw lots of friends leave as well. A lot of our friends were personally hurt by the church, although this wasn't our experience, our hearts ached for them.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

Unhealthy leadership, no accountability, and the lying and spinning of everything.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

I am not bitter about Mars hill. My years there were great, but the black and white nature of fundamentalism has messed me up. I am no longer a believer but I happily attend church with my family in an open and progressive community. I feel pretty embarrassed  to have closed my eyes and ears to the years of people pointing out problems, and I am amazed I could have been q part of an organization that treated women as less than men and didn't allow people in positions of leadership based on their gender or orientation.

Regular Attender - Ballard 2008-2013

Your Name

D

Gender

Prefer not to say

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Regular Attender

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard

What years were you involved / attending?

2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

My spouse attended

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

Spouse was happy to take me to this awesome church

What were your first impressions?

Wow.  Very different from Methodist upbringing.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

Because Mark Driscoll preached the Word of God like I'd never heard it preached.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

I still hear some of the songs in my head and miss singing them with the congregation. I loved worshipping with others like me.  People who wore jeans.  Peasant Princess taught me about marriage.  I learned to be strong in my convictions even though the whole country is moving in an opposite direction what my beliefs are.  I won't give in to popular opinion even if it costs me my job.  

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

Seeing how people jumped on the bandwagon when the negative stories were being fed to the newspapers.  Even "friends" who we knew were lying or embellishing their stories so they could be a part of the "hate Driscoll" trend.  

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

The whole book thing left a bad taste in my mouth.  Other than that I never had a problem with Mars Hill.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

I left because I could no longer worship with the wolves.  Felt great to be away from them.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

The Devil won this round.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

I no longer believe in an organized religion.  I do believe that the Devil is very pervasive in the hearts of good people.  I am sickened by the people who have sold their souls to see their names in print.  

I absolutely believe the things Driscoll has repented for actually happened.  So I am heartened to see a man who was so visible go out and tell people that he sinned and then publicly repent for that sin.  Since nobody else can forgive him, I do.

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

I am left with a lot of anger at the people who have gone on a witch hunt for Driscoll, and driven him out of Seattle with their hatred disguised as compassion.  Yet.  I know someone who was hurt when he left and I know she wan't hateful, and she was genuinely bewildered when he stepped down.  So, there were some good people caught in the crossfire.  Hope all the anti-Driscoll people are so very happy now.