Member - Ballard, Shoreline 1997, 2001-08

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Member

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard, Shoreline

What years were you involved / attending?

1997, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

I was involved in a homeless ministry in college and some of the other volunteers attended Mars Hill.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

I was a college student who attended the evening service sometimes.

What were your first impressions?

I liked that it wasn't religious seeming. I liked the plain talk preaching, and I was learning to read the Bible in a way I could understand.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

At first it was the proximity to college, plain talk sermons. Later I appreciated studying the Bible with community, the extensive teaching, and the music was amazing.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

Learning to read the Bible and explore theology.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

It was painful to see the disconnect between what I saw in the scriptures and what I increasingly saw in leadership and the Body. It became more religious and rules/power/shame-based. Regrettably, I became more this way. Additionally, I saw how leadership treated people and began to hate what I saw--arrogant, cut-throat, nasty behavior. The increased boasting and showy pontificating from the pulpit nauseated me. A lot of previously valued concepts (equality of elders, expository preaching, etc) were less valued or tossed completely. Basically the more I learned about God's love, the less I saw it at Mars Hill.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

Humble and courageous accountability in leadership rather than concentrated power from a man who was feared and excused because of his gifting.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

We left because of the firing of Bent Meyer and Paul Petry and the events around the changing of the bylaws in 2007. We didn't know either well, but we read what the materials the church itself distributed and were very disturbed by the unbiblical treatment of these two men. We wrote to Mark and received no response--although other elders told us he received our letter and was shaken by it. We were told we burned our bridges-- which was hurtful because we tried to communicate prayerfully with gentleness and respect. When we left, it was obvious that many in our MH community did not know how to interact with us. Close friends/mentors dropped us. We felt like we wear wearing a scarlet letter.  The worst example of this is when I was basically forced to resign my position working for a MH pastor at his private business. He told me it would be "easier" if we didn't work together now that we left MH. He began to suddenly attack my work (after previously consistently praising it to me and others verbally in writing). He bullied and shamed me over the course of a couple weeks in front of my co-workers (most of whom went to MH) by having a co-worker take away my keys, moving my desk out of my office to an entry way, making a co-worker a "new" supervisor, blasting me in a staff mtg, etc. I didn't understand. My spouse and I plead with him to help me understand. When I couldn't tolerate it anymore, I resigned. This caused a lot of harm to us financially. But God was gracious to provide. (This pastor was not a pastor at MH for much longer after this incident, but has never apologized or reached out despite my invitations to do so.) This was one of the most shaming experiences I have ever had and it still affects me. My spouse was saved at MH and Mark used to meet with my spouse as a new believer. Our experience at MH rocked our view of God's love, biblical community, male and female roles and godly marriage. We have received much healing. But in some ways, we are still recovering all these years later.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

Abusive authoritarian leadership led to a series of related more public ethical failures. MH was built on Mark. When he left, the whole thing collapsed.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

Ministers are servants (to "minister" means to serve"). Humble accountable leadership is a must. Concentration of power is not good for fallen/fallible man. We can accomplish the most amazing things ever in ministry and have the most phenomenal giftings, but without love it is all meaningless. The first shall be last. Jesus has tender words for  vulnerable societal outcastes who knew they were sinners and had harsh terrifying words for powerful proud arrogant authoritarian leaders. We were all enamoured by what was flashy, loud, and external.  That has caused deep harm. A lot of rotten fruit has come from MH and its rotten roots, and yet our God redeems beauty from ashes. He uses even our sin to bring about beauty. I have seen this and I believe He will continue this work. I pray for mercy for myself and for all involved at MH. I pray with love for mercy on Mark who seems to be taking the path of Saul.

Member - Ballard, Lake City, Shoreline 2001-09

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Member

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard, Lake City / Wedgewood, Shoreline

What years were you involved / attending?

2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

My parents had friends from their old church who started attending MH in about 2001, and those friends invited my parents.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

I was nine years old, and the service was in the previous Ballard building up on Earl Ave NW.

What were your first impressions?

Being nine years old, I'm sure the first thing I noticed was that there was no children's church. I sat in the sanctuary like everyone else, and was one of the very few kids above the age of 6.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

I think my parents were drawn to MH for much of the same reasons anyone else was -- charismatic preaching, a big emphasis on "community," sermons preached from the Bible.

It was my home because it was my family's church, and I was too young to have a well-formed opinion.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

I think it has really finely-tuned my bullshit meter when it comes to what public figures say vs. what actually happens.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

I do not trust American evangelical Protestantism at all, particularly when certain people (regardless of gender or theological bent) are seen as leaders or definitive voices. I am openly critical of any church that employs graphic designers to advertise church functions, regardless of how nice it looks. I absolutely cannot abide any organization run exclusively by men. I have very little motivation or interest in participating in a church at all.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

I just wish we had never gone.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

Thankfully, when I was 17 I left for college and did not have to return. I had zero emotional attachments to the church, just memories of exclusion, fear, disappointment, and rejection. The one friend I had, a mentor who I spoke with often and who I truly loved and respected, eventually completely stopped talking to me and we have not contacted each other in almost three years.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

People genuinely believed that God could be threatened by questions.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

I am openly gay and not ashamed about being mentally ill, for starters, both things that would have 100% been Big Sins at MH. I haven't heard the phrase "but have you given it all to Jesus?" lately and I'm thankful for that. I attend a non-evangelical church now that makes me feel loved just the way that I am.

H.E.M. - Ballard 2000-06

Your Name

H.E.M.

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Regular Attender

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard

What years were you involved / attending?

2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

I heard about Mars Hill from my friends and also looked it up online before the first time I went.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

My friends brought me.

What were your first impressions?

I really liked that it was in Ballard, and that it was in a different kind of building. I knew a lot of the people I went to church with. At that time it was not as big and there were not as many services - so it still felt small and nice.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

Because that is where I first heard real, godly teaching about who Jesus is and the gospel.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

I grew as a Christian, got into God's word, had a place to serve, and learn about church ministry and how to reach others for God in my city.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

Later, when they opened a second campus, I did not like that. A couple of my friends started going to that campus and that was a bummer. More and more the sermons would be on a big screen and not a pastor preaching to us live. It felt weird and pre-recorded. The church added so many services that it started to feel mega-churchy. I still liked serving, but I did not understand why we had to have a campus instead of just planting a new church over there. Then MORE campuses started and more friends moved to other campuses so we were not going to the church all together anymore or serving together.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

I would have liked to just have the Ballard campus be Mars Hill and the other campuses be new church plants. I would have liked to stay smaller or at least added different pastors to preaching the evening services and other services instead of the pre-recorded sermons.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

I left Mars Hill because I got married and we moved 4 hours away where my husband became a pastor! :-)

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

My friends and family continue to go to the church (Ballard) that is there now in place of Mars Hill. We all really do not understand the closure. I do not know why it had to come to an end. It was always my home church, and whenever we have a weekend off we would come home to Mars Hill to worship and learn about God with our friends and family, and now it is not there and we do not know really and truly why.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

Beliefs, church, convictions are all the same, but even more so now I am opposed to churches splitting off into campuses, and would voice my opinion more strongly if my church wanted to do that. I would say to that church, no, we should plant churches with a pastor for that church, no big screens and campuses.

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

The small groups were a great part of Mars Hill Ballard. We enjoyed our small group leaders but they were often hired and then laid off and then hired again and laid off or fired, with very little reason given from the management of MH Ballard. It was very stressful to them and their families, as they would have to find a job and then quit the job and then find one again. It did not seem that MH provided a stable employment for these people who wanted to be Pastors at the church and do full time ministry.

Dean Watkins - 2000-07

Your Name

Dean Watkins

Gender

Male

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Member

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard, Lake City / Wedgewood

What years were you involved / attending?

2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

I was working for an architect in Kirkland who I knew to be a Christian also.  I was new to town, so I asked my boss for church recommendations.  He gave me a short list, but sort of highlighted Mars Hill as being different, new, young.  He thought I might like it.  I went to one other church on Mercer Island, and the Pastor meet me and took me to lunch.  I was one of the few "twenty somethings" at his church.  That pastor told me that if he was my age...he would be going to Mars Hill.  So, I went to check it out.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

My first service was at the First Hill location.  I remember Mark yelling at the crowd...I don't remember what.  But he pointed at the door, and said something to the effect of "if you don't like it there's the door".  Strangely I was hooked.  I liked that someone was going to preach without a concern for what others thought.

What were your first impressions?

My first impression was that it was weird.  It was darker, and "moodier" than any other church I'd been to.  I wasn't sure if I'd fit in.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

Mars Hill became my church home because they found a way to build a strong community.  In retrospect, not all bad.  But not all good.  It was a highly insulari environment.  There were lots of ways to connect with people mid-week, and it filled up much of my social world at that time.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

Mars Hill helped me to make friends when I moved to Seattle.  It gave me a place to worship, and it added a sense of community at that time.  There were some periods of growth as well.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

This is difficult.  In some ways even 8+ years later there are negative impacts.  The theology was so lacking of Grace that I still today have to question if my understand of God and Scripture is coming from a place of Love, and Grace...or if the "old voices" of performance and living up to some unattainable standard are speaking up again.  The black and white thinking on top of the lack of Grace was particularly damaging at the time.  And even though I don't think that way now...it feels like it took something from me in a vague way.  Living through that form of spiritual abuse is not quickly forgotten.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

Mark.  He needed to step aside and repent.  And it's shameful that he never (to my knowledge) seriously acknowledged all of the hurt and pain that was caused by the culture of bullying, and bravado that he created.  I guess it would be appropriate to say, adding Grace to the message.  And there are probably a long list of other things...including but not limited to not having changed the underlying church governance to allow for a better balance of power.  But Mark was responsible for much of those issues.  It was his ship to sink.  

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

My exit from Mars HIll happened when Bent and Paul were fired.  It was clear to me at that point (in I think about 2007) that there was a significant power issue.  It was tough to leave.  It was an environment that felt like, "you are with us, or against us".  Actually the other very weird thing that happened was that at the time that Bent and Paul got fired...everyone was asked to "renew" their membership.  This might not have been so weird except that I clearly remembered a big long monologue from one of the elders (probably Mark) about membership being like a "covenant".  So, if it's a covenant one day...it seemed weird that it required a renewal the next.  After talking to a friend about it, I decided that cancelling my membership was a clue, and I didn't want to be a member at a place where Mark could get rid of anyone who wasn't a "yes man".  

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

The tremendous ego of Mark Driscoll caused a culture of bullying, and the failure of most of the other elders to band together and call him out on it.  

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

Since leaving Mars Hill I went to another church for about 5 years.  My immediate change was a sense of relief.  The "new church" (was actually much older in age than MH) reminded me of God's Grace in a way that was no longer present at MH.  At this point I am not attending church.  My new church would not allow me to be a member, once I accepted myself as gay.  To be clear, if I was "out" while I was at MH they would not have accepted me either.  My membership there was based on the idea that I wasn't going to date or marry anyone of the same sex.  At this point, I am a Christian, and I'm gay...and I no longer consider those things to be mutually exclusive.  This took a lot of studying and time (and prayer)...but my mental health has improved greatly and I'm sad about all the years I spent trying to fit someone else's mold (at MH) if I stop to think about it for too long.  But I also have a strong sense of who I am as a Believer now...and I'm more in a "progressive" camp...if I had to label it.  

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

I guess I would like to say that there were some years that were good.  At least it seemed that way at the time.  But it was so bizarre and disappointing to see so many people stay, and follow what I started calling the "party line".  My life, health, and faith has only healed and grown since leaving, and I hope the same for all the others that survived this weird experience.  I feel like I survived a cult experience.  I'm really glad that it blew up, and I hope that the others will find the same sort of peace in their lives apart from MH and it's culture.

Jessica - Ballard, Downtown Seattle, Portland, Tacoma 2009-13

Your Name

Jessica

Gender

Female

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Regular Attender, Member, Group Leader (any leadership role)

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard, Downtown Seattle, Portland, Tacoma

What years were you involved / attending?

2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

Through a friend who was a member.

What were your first impressions?

The very first service me and my (now ex) husband attended was in Ballard. Mark preached a sermon directed towards men and husbands. Mark screamed half the service, calling on men to step up and take responsibility and cursing at abusers and fornicators. Having come from a long series of churches with mostly female leadership because men were simply disinterested, this was actually refreshing to me. I appreciated the fact that men were not allowed to slide under the radar here, that they were called upon to step up and be leaders.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

I had just moved back to Seattle from LA where I worked on staff at another megachurch that was centered on service and sensationalist spirituality. I had been very burnt after seeing pastors who were more business executives than anything else make horrific and unbiblical decisions behind closed doors. I was tired of hearing shallow, "encouraging" words every week and wanted to learn the scriptures in depth. If Mark is any one thing, he is thorough. I learned so much and soaked it up like a sponge.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

The most positive part of my time at Mars Hill was it's people. The pastors of MH Portland, specifically. My husband and I had moved to Portland to help start MHPDX and we were leaders there. 6 months later he had fallen back into his old life of drugs, stealing, cheating, manipulation and abuse. One night, the pastors came and picked me up, gave me a place to stay and then went back to retrieve all my belongings. I lived in my pastor's guest room for a month and everything I owned was in the church garage. Not only that, but they helped me through my divorce. None of them told me to divorce him, but none of them stopped me from leaving that abusive relationship. They helped me move a total of 3 times in 5 months. I could not have made it during that time without their support and love.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

Mark preached that men should take charge and be leaders, but he left a lot of room for men like my ex to twist it into control and abuse their wives.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

I know that the Redemption program had helped a lot of people, but I believe that it was a dangerous place for those with unstable mental health due to trauma. Without the guidance of certified counselors, there was a lot of pressure to "tell all" and forgive when sometimes a great deal of time and counseling is needed. The Redemption program was like amateurs performing heart surgery. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Mars Hill didn't take things at a case-by-case basis, it was black or white, all or nothing. "You confess. You forgive. You heal." It's not always that straightforward or easy or even healthy to do things that way.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

Well, the short version is that I began working late on Saturday nights and didn't want to wake up early to go to church so I found one that had an evening service. However, if I really wanted to I would have made it happen. With everything that my Portland pastors helped me with, they never made me feel indebted to them. I sort of fizzled out. They would check in with me here and there, but never made me feel guilty for not coming anymore. In the end, I really craved a simpler, smaller church. And one that had a real pastor preaching in front of me, rather than someone phoned in on a screen.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

Mark is a very extreme personality. He is over the top. He's human and interprets things the wrong way, shares his OPINION of the scriptures meanings. He was a part of something that got VERY big very fast and in this world of online media, he was severely attacked for his faults.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

My beliefs are unchanged. Even while attending MH my beliefs had not changed much from my previous experience. I am, however, not as involved in a church as I was and probably never will be again. I love going to church, I believe it's important and I love being surrounded by other believers. But I no longer feel guilty for missing church. God's people are his church, it's not an organization. God can speak to me on my couch as much as he can in church. My foundation is in Jesus, it's no longer in what church I go to.

Steve Lewis 2010-14

Your Name

Steve Lewis

Gender

Male

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Regular Attender, Member, Group Leader (any leadership role), Staff

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard

What years were you involved / attending?

2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

I first heard about Mars Hill through the media, particularly surrounding the attention Pastor Mark was receiving around the Peasant Princess series.  Mars Hill came to my attention even more as I moved from Whidbey Island down to Seattle and several friends recommended it as a church to check out as I got settled in Seattle.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

I moved to Seattle in March of 2010, and the first Sunday I attended was Easter (April 4, 2010).

What were your first impressions?

I was blown away.  A lot of people, the church I was attending previously had at most 150 people on Christmas/Easter.  Loud music, solid preaching, friendly people.  I was definitely intrigued and planned to attend again.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

I was brand new to Seattle when I started attending Mars Hill, and didn't know anybody in the city other than my brother.  The friends I made during my time at Mars Hill helped me transition much better to life in the new city.  I also have lived in Magnolia my whole time in Seattle, so the Ballard location was the easiest to get to.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

I truly became a Christian at Mars Hill.  Through Pastor Mark's teaching, I became totally aware of my need for Jesus and gave my life to him.  I had the opportunity to be a part of and lead several community groups, I was able to serve on and lead several teams on Sundays, had the opportunity to become an intern and to join the staff at Ballard, and was blessed by the many people I encountered during my time at Mars Hill.  I was able to go through Redemption Group, as well as attend ReTrain as I grew as a Christian and as a leader.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

As great as my experience was at the church, I became very disillusioned to the church as I got more and more involved and saw the inner workings of the church.  I was encouraged to take part in the spin that was put forth by Central while I was on staff, even though I pushed back and questioned what was going on.  I saw many people hurt by the actions of the leadership at both Ballard and Central as we saw staff members transitioning out rapidly (some for amicable reasons, many were let go), questions being left unanswered, and being chewed up by the machine.  Ultimately, after I left staff, and seeing how many dear friends were treated by the leadership of the church, and more importantly, not experiencing Jesus, I made the decision to leave the church in 2014.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

I think the biggest thing I would have changed about the church was how much was kept behind closed doors.  I know that there is plenty of things that are discussed at any church that should not be brought forth to the entire congregation (counseling matters, Redemption group discussions, etc), but at Mars Hill most everything was kept secret.  People invested a lot in the church as it grew larger and larger, but they were kept in the dark about what was being done.  I feel that how it was handled at Mars Hill was very unloving and untruthful.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

I made the decision to leave Mars Hill in September of 2014 after seeing how Pastor Mark Dunford was treated upon signing the Letter from the Nine.  This was the straw that broke the camel's back for me, my departure had been building for a while after I left staff in March of 2014.  My concerns about the church had been growing, and I asked many questions about what was going on as the clouds were accumulating surrounding the church leadership.  I was heartbroken as I saw many leaders leaving Ballard in particular, men that I had grown to love as I served alongside of them; I was crushed to see so many people leaving the church, men and women that were instrumental in my own growth as a believer and a leader within the church.  Ultimately, I keep going back to the passage that God led me to at that time, Matthew 14:22-33, Jesus walking on the water and calling Peter out of the boat.  Peter stepped out onto the water, though he started to sink as he looked at the wind and rain and storm and took his eyes off of Jesus.  Once he looked back at Jesus and focused his attention on him, Peter was able to rise back up and get into the boat safely.  The storms of distraction were drawing my eyes away from Jesus towards the end of my time at Mars Hill, and I was not okay with this.  I needed to refocus my life on Jesus, and I felt that I needed to break away from Mars Hill to do this.  I met with Pastor Adam Christiansen the week before I made the decision to leave, and he and I prayed for this decision.  I let him (and Pastor Scott Harris, who was the lead pastor at Ballard at that time) know via a long and tear stained email that I had made the decision to leave.  I let them know that I would continue to pray for both of them (which I have, even to this day), for the church (which I have, through the split and reorganization as different local bodies), and for the people, wherever God has led them.  To be completely honest, this hurt.  A lot.  Mars Hill had made a huge impact on my life, and to come to the realization that it would no longer be a part of my life was devastating.  I was anxious to get my life re-centered on Jesus, and to do this change needed to happen.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

Wow, this is a deep question.  To do this, I would need to share my own story about what Jesus has done and is doing in my own life, and how Mars Hill played a part in this.  Depending on the context of the conversation, I would most likely give a bullet point explanation of what happened at the end of Mars Hill, and close the convo with an emphasis of how important a saving faith in Jesus really is, not only in our own lives but also in that of the church as a whole.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

As I made the decision to leave Mars Hill, I really had to step back and reevaluate what I really believe as a Christian and what I was looking for in a church.  I knew that I needed to be surrounded by other believers to continue growing as a Christian and to heal, I couldn't do this without being a part of a church.  As I began the process of looking for another church, I found myself comparing every other church I attended to Mars Hill.  I was critical of the music, of the teaching, of the ministries.  I really had to rediscover who Jesus was and be open to him leading me to where he wanted me to be, to take my eyes off of the distractions that were blinding me.  Once I did this, I ended up finding a great church home where I am fed, challenged and loved.  I am a part of Quest Church now, ironically Quest's new home is in the same building where Mars Hill Ballard was located.  I am still healing, have had many opportunities to share my experience at Mars Hill, and am continually working on following Jesus.  My faith was definitely shaken by what happened at Mars, shaken but not broken.  Ultimately, my faith has become stronger because of my experience at Mars.  I have experienced many highs and lows during my time at Mars and after, but the one constant in this whole time has been Jesus.  I know it was a catchphrase/slogan at Mars, but it really is all about Jesus.  He is in the business of redeeming lives, my own is evidence of this.

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

Thank you for giving us this space to share our experience at Mars Hill.  I look forward to seeing other people's responses to this, to celebrate what Jesus is doing in people's lives.