Dean Watkins - 2000-07

Your Name

Dean Watkins

Gender

Male

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Member

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard, Lake City / Wedgewood

What years were you involved / attending?

2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

I was working for an architect in Kirkland who I knew to be a Christian also.  I was new to town, so I asked my boss for church recommendations.  He gave me a short list, but sort of highlighted Mars Hill as being different, new, young.  He thought I might like it.  I went to one other church on Mercer Island, and the Pastor meet me and took me to lunch.  I was one of the few "twenty somethings" at his church.  That pastor told me that if he was my age...he would be going to Mars Hill.  So, I went to check it out.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

My first service was at the First Hill location.  I remember Mark yelling at the crowd...I don't remember what.  But he pointed at the door, and said something to the effect of "if you don't like it there's the door".  Strangely I was hooked.  I liked that someone was going to preach without a concern for what others thought.

What were your first impressions?

My first impression was that it was weird.  It was darker, and "moodier" than any other church I'd been to.  I wasn't sure if I'd fit in.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

Mars Hill became my church home because they found a way to build a strong community.  In retrospect, not all bad.  But not all good.  It was a highly insulari environment.  There were lots of ways to connect with people mid-week, and it filled up much of my social world at that time.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

Mars Hill helped me to make friends when I moved to Seattle.  It gave me a place to worship, and it added a sense of community at that time.  There were some periods of growth as well.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

This is difficult.  In some ways even 8+ years later there are negative impacts.  The theology was so lacking of Grace that I still today have to question if my understand of God and Scripture is coming from a place of Love, and Grace...or if the "old voices" of performance and living up to some unattainable standard are speaking up again.  The black and white thinking on top of the lack of Grace was particularly damaging at the time.  And even though I don't think that way now...it feels like it took something from me in a vague way.  Living through that form of spiritual abuse is not quickly forgotten.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

Mark.  He needed to step aside and repent.  And it's shameful that he never (to my knowledge) seriously acknowledged all of the hurt and pain that was caused by the culture of bullying, and bravado that he created.  I guess it would be appropriate to say, adding Grace to the message.  And there are probably a long list of other things...including but not limited to not having changed the underlying church governance to allow for a better balance of power.  But Mark was responsible for much of those issues.  It was his ship to sink.  

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

My exit from Mars HIll happened when Bent and Paul were fired.  It was clear to me at that point (in I think about 2007) that there was a significant power issue.  It was tough to leave.  It was an environment that felt like, "you are with us, or against us".  Actually the other very weird thing that happened was that at the time that Bent and Paul got fired...everyone was asked to "renew" their membership.  This might not have been so weird except that I clearly remembered a big long monologue from one of the elders (probably Mark) about membership being like a "covenant".  So, if it's a covenant one day...it seemed weird that it required a renewal the next.  After talking to a friend about it, I decided that cancelling my membership was a clue, and I didn't want to be a member at a place where Mark could get rid of anyone who wasn't a "yes man".  

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

The tremendous ego of Mark Driscoll caused a culture of bullying, and the failure of most of the other elders to band together and call him out on it.  

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

Since leaving Mars Hill I went to another church for about 5 years.  My immediate change was a sense of relief.  The "new church" (was actually much older in age than MH) reminded me of God's Grace in a way that was no longer present at MH.  At this point I am not attending church.  My new church would not allow me to be a member, once I accepted myself as gay.  To be clear, if I was "out" while I was at MH they would not have accepted me either.  My membership there was based on the idea that I wasn't going to date or marry anyone of the same sex.  At this point, I am a Christian, and I'm gay...and I no longer consider those things to be mutually exclusive.  This took a lot of studying and time (and prayer)...but my mental health has improved greatly and I'm sad about all the years I spent trying to fit someone else's mold (at MH) if I stop to think about it for too long.  But I also have a strong sense of who I am as a Believer now...and I'm more in a "progressive" camp...if I had to label it.  

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

I guess I would like to say that there were some years that were good.  At least it seemed that way at the time.  But it was so bizarre and disappointing to see so many people stay, and follow what I started calling the "party line".  My life, health, and faith has only healed and grown since leaving, and I hope the same for all the others that survived this weird experience.  I feel like I survived a cult experience.  I'm really glad that it blew up, and I hope that the others will find the same sort of peace in their lives apart from MH and it's culture.

Regular Attender - Albuquerque 2013

Gender

Male

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Regular Attender

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Albuquerque

What years were you involved / attending?

2013

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

I think I read about it online.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

I was at a temporary job assignment in Albuquerque and my wife and I needed I church to attend. I have spent my whole life in evangelical churches of some form (mostly Baptist) so I was pretty much right at home. The Calvinist aspect were the only things that were really new but they were typically pretty subtle.

What were your first impressions?

I loved it, the community was great, and the worship was heartfelt. The teleconference sermons took some getting used to but their quality made it worthwhile. It was like the apostle Paul could be at all the churches at once, why not take advantage of that?

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

I needed a church home and this one was a great community. The community groups were excellent and formed my closest group of friends.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

The sermons really did have a grounding effect at a time when I felt somewhat uprooted. It was  the closest thing I had to a church home in years

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

I really don’t harbor any ill feeling.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

At the time, not a whole lot, maybe more in person sermons. Now, just about everything, but that’s a little complicated.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

It moved to another city, so it was as simple as that. I joined an Act 29 network church so I monitored the fallout closely while it was occurring.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

While I was attending Mars Hill, I told myself that this was about more than Mark Driscoll. That he was the leader of a church he started but that the organization was its own entity. Lots of CEOs leave or are forced out of the companies they start, right? But as the heat was turned up on pastor Mark, it became obvious that he had made a sufficient number personal mistakes to necessitate stepping down for a while. The open letter incident was where he really started losing my support, but when he announced his resignation and Mars Hill immediately declared its intent to disband, I realized I had been wrong. While God had a place, Mars Hill had been about Mark Driscoll all along and couldn’t hold itself together anymore.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

For reasons that really cannot be attributed to Mars Hill or Mark Driscoll, my wife and I have converted to Orthodox Christianity (through and OCA parish). I would never have become Roman Catholic (and still couldn’t) because I disagreed with so much of their theology, but Orthodox Christianity was like discovering the early church is still around. Now I reflect on Mars Hill as a lesson about the dangers of creating human institutions as part of an invisible church. Orthodox Christianity has had some enormous problems throughout its history (external persecution, internal greed, corruption etc.) but has weathered these storms because it’s not built on the back of a single individual (be he Pope, Pastor or Patriarch).

Steve Lewis 2010-14

Your Name

Steve Lewis

Gender

Male

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Regular Attender, Member, Group Leader (any leadership role), Staff

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Ballard

What years were you involved / attending?

2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

I first heard about Mars Hill through the media, particularly surrounding the attention Pastor Mark was receiving around the Peasant Princess series.  Mars Hill came to my attention even more as I moved from Whidbey Island down to Seattle and several friends recommended it as a church to check out as I got settled in Seattle.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

I moved to Seattle in March of 2010, and the first Sunday I attended was Easter (April 4, 2010).

What were your first impressions?

I was blown away.  A lot of people, the church I was attending previously had at most 150 people on Christmas/Easter.  Loud music, solid preaching, friendly people.  I was definitely intrigued and planned to attend again.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

I was brand new to Seattle when I started attending Mars Hill, and didn't know anybody in the city other than my brother.  The friends I made during my time at Mars Hill helped me transition much better to life in the new city.  I also have lived in Magnolia my whole time in Seattle, so the Ballard location was the easiest to get to.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

I truly became a Christian at Mars Hill.  Through Pastor Mark's teaching, I became totally aware of my need for Jesus and gave my life to him.  I had the opportunity to be a part of and lead several community groups, I was able to serve on and lead several teams on Sundays, had the opportunity to become an intern and to join the staff at Ballard, and was blessed by the many people I encountered during my time at Mars Hill.  I was able to go through Redemption Group, as well as attend ReTrain as I grew as a Christian and as a leader.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

As great as my experience was at the church, I became very disillusioned to the church as I got more and more involved and saw the inner workings of the church.  I was encouraged to take part in the spin that was put forth by Central while I was on staff, even though I pushed back and questioned what was going on.  I saw many people hurt by the actions of the leadership at both Ballard and Central as we saw staff members transitioning out rapidly (some for amicable reasons, many were let go), questions being left unanswered, and being chewed up by the machine.  Ultimately, after I left staff, and seeing how many dear friends were treated by the leadership of the church, and more importantly, not experiencing Jesus, I made the decision to leave the church in 2014.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

I think the biggest thing I would have changed about the church was how much was kept behind closed doors.  I know that there is plenty of things that are discussed at any church that should not be brought forth to the entire congregation (counseling matters, Redemption group discussions, etc), but at Mars Hill most everything was kept secret.  People invested a lot in the church as it grew larger and larger, but they were kept in the dark about what was being done.  I feel that how it was handled at Mars Hill was very unloving and untruthful.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

I made the decision to leave Mars Hill in September of 2014 after seeing how Pastor Mark Dunford was treated upon signing the Letter from the Nine.  This was the straw that broke the camel's back for me, my departure had been building for a while after I left staff in March of 2014.  My concerns about the church had been growing, and I asked many questions about what was going on as the clouds were accumulating surrounding the church leadership.  I was heartbroken as I saw many leaders leaving Ballard in particular, men that I had grown to love as I served alongside of them; I was crushed to see so many people leaving the church, men and women that were instrumental in my own growth as a believer and a leader within the church.  Ultimately, I keep going back to the passage that God led me to at that time, Matthew 14:22-33, Jesus walking on the water and calling Peter out of the boat.  Peter stepped out onto the water, though he started to sink as he looked at the wind and rain and storm and took his eyes off of Jesus.  Once he looked back at Jesus and focused his attention on him, Peter was able to rise back up and get into the boat safely.  The storms of distraction were drawing my eyes away from Jesus towards the end of my time at Mars Hill, and I was not okay with this.  I needed to refocus my life on Jesus, and I felt that I needed to break away from Mars Hill to do this.  I met with Pastor Adam Christiansen the week before I made the decision to leave, and he and I prayed for this decision.  I let him (and Pastor Scott Harris, who was the lead pastor at Ballard at that time) know via a long and tear stained email that I had made the decision to leave.  I let them know that I would continue to pray for both of them (which I have, even to this day), for the church (which I have, through the split and reorganization as different local bodies), and for the people, wherever God has led them.  To be completely honest, this hurt.  A lot.  Mars Hill had made a huge impact on my life, and to come to the realization that it would no longer be a part of my life was devastating.  I was anxious to get my life re-centered on Jesus, and to do this change needed to happen.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

Wow, this is a deep question.  To do this, I would need to share my own story about what Jesus has done and is doing in my own life, and how Mars Hill played a part in this.  Depending on the context of the conversation, I would most likely give a bullet point explanation of what happened at the end of Mars Hill, and close the convo with an emphasis of how important a saving faith in Jesus really is, not only in our own lives but also in that of the church as a whole.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

As I made the decision to leave Mars Hill, I really had to step back and reevaluate what I really believe as a Christian and what I was looking for in a church.  I knew that I needed to be surrounded by other believers to continue growing as a Christian and to heal, I couldn't do this without being a part of a church.  As I began the process of looking for another church, I found myself comparing every other church I attended to Mars Hill.  I was critical of the music, of the teaching, of the ministries.  I really had to rediscover who Jesus was and be open to him leading me to where he wanted me to be, to take my eyes off of the distractions that were blinding me.  Once I did this, I ended up finding a great church home where I am fed, challenged and loved.  I am a part of Quest Church now, ironically Quest's new home is in the same building where Mars Hill Ballard was located.  I am still healing, have had many opportunities to share my experience at Mars Hill, and am continually working on following Jesus.  My faith was definitely shaken by what happened at Mars, shaken but not broken.  Ultimately, my faith has become stronger because of my experience at Mars.  I have experienced many highs and lows during my time at Mars and after, but the one constant in this whole time has been Jesus.  I know it was a catchphrase/slogan at Mars, but it really is all about Jesus.  He is in the business of redeeming lives, my own is evidence of this.

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

Thank you for giving us this space to share our experience at Mars Hill.  I look forward to seeing other people's responses to this, to celebrate what Jesus is doing in people's lives.

Mike - Albuquerque 2010-11

Your Name

Mike

Gender

Male

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Regular Attender

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Albuquerque

What years were you involved / attending?

2010, 2011

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

Mark was coming to town to speak at City on a Hill in downtown - which was becoming a MH.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

Me and a friend went to the evening service where Mark spoke about taking over the ABQ church.

What were your first impressions?

It was energetic, young, packed.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

It had a mission.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

Nothing.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

I got to relive the Discipleship Movement from the 70's.  I was in seminary at the time and after going through a session of having false accusations thrown at me - it took a few months to get past it... and grades suffered.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

Learned earlier about the reality of the priesthood of every believer and run from one-man magnets.

Which describes you?

I left Mars Hill prior to closure.

Please describe why you left Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

I left because I rebuked their false accusations and would not enter their "restoration" process.  I was booted from "The City" and told that no one there would talk with me, and they would ensure that other churches in the area would know how I left.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

It needs no explanation - they get it more than those that were in it.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

The Church is not the building, a group of leaders, or a name.  It is Christians living their life before Christ - Acts talks of church in the home and church in the city... that's really it.

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

Wolves are thriving, still.

Maurice Morales 2009-14

Your Name

Maurice Morales

Gender

Male

Which describes your role at Mars Hill?

Member

What Mars Hill location(s) did you attend?

Downtown Seattle

What years were you involved / attending?

2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014

How did you first hear about Mars Hill?

I first heard of Mars Hill Church in an Alternative Christian Music Magazine called HM (Heaven's Metal). One of my favorite musical artist Jeff "Suffering" Bettger was being interviewed about his band "Suffering And The Hideous Thieves" and at the end of the interview he was sharing how he has been playing music at his church for the past years and years and that you could download "Team Strike Force" music on Mars Hill's website. This was back in 2004.

What was the circumstance of your first time attending Mars HIll?

I moved to Seattle from Las Vegas in 2009 to attend Redemption Groups at Mars Hill Downtown. Jeff Bettger invited me to live with him and his family and go through the counseling to address habitual sin in my life.

What were your first impressions?

I never heard a person ever share intimate details about how they were sin against. It was the rawest thing I ever witnessed.

Why was Mars Hill your church home?

I left my home and community in Las Vegas to specifically be apart of Mars Hill Church Downtown Seattle. I never had a reason for MHCDTS to not be my home and I was never given a good reason to leave.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a positive impact on you?

Becoming a responsible man has been the biggest impact MHC has had on me. Though I'm not always the kindest, most patient, loving man I definitely see MHC being instrumental in even wanting to be a man that God is calling me to be.

What about your time at Mars Hill has had a negative impact on you?

The way Mark Driscoll left the church has recently brought up some anger and bitterness toward him specifically. Though I wish him the best and he is definitely one of the greatest preachers of our generation, how he left was one of the most cowardly, lamest things I've ever seen and probably ever will see.

What would you like to have changed about Mars Hill?

Personally I felt pushed to go through the membership course. Things moved pretty fast and I wished that some things were more thoughtful and patient.

Which describes you?

I stayed at Mars Hill through closure.

Please describe why you stayed at Mars Hill and what that experience was like.

I never had a reason to leave. The few reasons that people confronted me with never resonated with me or my personal community. My wife is a women leader who was always cared for and loved and never disrespected. One person view me as a person that only saw Mars Hill Church as being the only "real" church in Seattle but that was never my experience or how I felt. In fact I would visit other churches in the Seattle area just to see what God was doing there.

How would you describe the reason for Mars Hill's closure to an outsider.

The Bible describes Jesus as a Good Shepherd and His flock is his church. He has entrusted His flock to other shepherd like himself, we call them church leaders. Jesus says when danger comes fake shepherds run away because all they care about is themselves and not His flock. That essentially happened at Mars Hill. Things got messy and leaders left and that includes Mark Driscoll.

What's changed for you since your time at Mars Hill came to an end?

It's harder to follow along in a sermon. I'm used to Mark's clear communication and exposition but that's okay. I don't need every preacher to be like Mark.

Please write anything else you'd like to add.

If you need any further clarification please don't hesitate to contact me. I'm not offended to talk about this or anything else related to Mars Hill Church. It's like 11:30pm and I worked a 10 hour day so I guess I'm made it kinda quick but I also knew that If I didn't fill this out now, I'd probably won't have just because I'm kinda busy.

Thank you for including me in this. Mars Hill Church is something that means a lot to me and sometimes I get a little teary eyed just thinking about it. I'm ready for the future and ready to meet new people at my new church. Being a resource for other christians and serving them is something that means a lot to me. It's how I like to give. It's how I was loved when I first came to faith and it's how I plan to love as I continue on in my faith. I'm not into the in crowd social church garbage. Jesus church and his love is different that high school social BS.

Cheers!